光明之旅

乌托邦

光明之旅

也许加入广青，成为一个志愿者是神的指引。我也不知道我是怎么了，如果不是神的指引，那么，应该是发烧把脑子烧坏了，可是，我真的觉得我需要改变。这个月，我真的感到无比的充实与快乐。那种感觉，那种满足似乎不是其他东西可以给到你！从小文炬义演的参与到走入光明，无时无刻不令我感到感动！
在这里，我要向我的好朋友道歉，我实在抽不出时间来陪大家玩了，BOY 烧——也不知道什么时间才能再抽出时间去，可是，我在做很快乐的事情，请你们精神上支持我吧！其实，我相信是神一直在指引我走向光明，神一直在告诉我，我不可以用那种生活方式生活下去，它用病魔来阻止我抽烟，用病魔来引导我吃素，用失败来告诉我爱情的梦是如此虚幻。生活的本质是爱，爱不是接受，而是给予。我再说下去，你们可能会把我当成是传教士吧！我不想与你们疏远的，可是，我知道我也许真的会离你们越来越远了。因为，我要走向另一个世界。曾经，我觉得我是一个生活在灰色世界里的人，我的人本身就是灰色的。在灰色世界里，人的心是傲慢的自由！我知道我正走向白色，做一个普通的人，是我的愿望，如果，我离开了灰色的世界，请不要把我忘记，请不要放弃自己，我不能期望所有在灰色世界的人都走向白色。可是，只要不放弃自己，希望改变，你们也是可以走向白色的。我也了解，在灰色的世界里，是那么的自由，那么的潇洒，其实走不走向白色无所谓，只要，你们仍然接受白色存在于你们的世界，我愿意将我的白带入你们的灰色世界中。我不知道你们是否了解我说什么，我相信，在灰色世界里的朋友会慢慢了解的，也许在很久很久以后，你们会了解的。
知道母爱是什么吗？为了你爱的孩子，愿意抛弃一切的勇气，愿意承担一切的勇气。在未去光明之前，我一直只参加小文炬的义演活动，当我从光明出来的那天，我再去参加义演，文炬妈妈的母爱真的让我很感动，在这个世界上，有抛弃自己孩子的母亲，也有为孩子不顾一切的母亲，亲爱的你，请你想清楚再当一个母亲！真的，作为一个女人，我觉得，如果你没有承担所有的勇气，请你不要生孩子，就算做一百次人流，都不要做一个抛弃自己孩子的母亲。在光明，那么一个小小的福利院，竟然有八十几个孤儿。他们虽然有缺陷，但他们是一个生命，一个活生生的生命啊！因此，我佩服小文炬的母亲，她没有抛弃有严重地中海贫血的文炬，而且，她做到了其他父母做不到的事情。在中国，特别是广东地区，地中海贫血是一种很普遍的遗传病，可是，并不是每个母亲都可以如此坚持地为了孩子，付出艰辛，为了孩子的生存而奋斗。
记得在我读大学的时候，曾经讨论过生孩子的问题，当时，我是那么的爱某人，虽然明知道不可能在一起走完这段路，可是那时候想，为他生个小孩子也不错！现在想来，那时候真是天真，以为生孩子就是十个月时间的事情，从没想过这样会带给自己什么，会带给小孩子什么，用什么作为基础，用什么来发展，不知道！现在，爱不知道还剩下多少，更没想过，当爱飘走的时候，留下来的又是什么！那些自以为纯洁的人，鄙视做过人流的女孩子的女人和男人们，又懂得什么！对于这个话题，我不想多说什么，曾经，我问过YAN，她曾经流过一次双胞胎，我觉得很遗憾！可是，现在我实在觉得这个决定是正确的！如果不想结婚，不能给孩子一个很好的教育，宁愿自己心痛也不要制造悲剧！
这是我第一次到光明，当小组长问我要参加那个小组的时候，神又一次为我指引着道路，本来我是想参加小舞台的，可是，到选择的那一刻，我却脱口选了小乐园。“队员：阿猪 后来跟我说，从见我的那刻就觉得我适合到小乐园来，我竟然真的来了。”我无语！这应该就是缘分！这次，我没有抱到小朋友，因为分配给我的“老佛爷”太重了。“老佛爷”是小朋友的小名，人如其名，有点大牌！达达是我的“指导老师”，看着他把“老佛爷”抱上康服室的力度，我想，下次，我应该也抱不动“老佛爷”吧！“老佛爷”是情况不是很严重，只是因为右脚变形得比较严重，不能走路，可是嘴巴很甜，哥哥姐姐的叫个不挺，也很爱笑，阿猪就很喜欢“老佛爷”，因为他起码不会自闭，也不会很容易哭，也没有流口水，做康复的时候，可能达达本来就是很认真的人，每一项都会很认真的完成，“老佛爷”也很努力的配合，不会象其他小朋友那样扭计，或者顾着玩而不认真做康复。“老佛爷”累和痛的时候会耍计谋，说要尿尿，还一直用手抓鸡鸡！看他的样子就觉得搞笑！达达说，他上次就骗他说要尿尿，可是三次都没尿出来。因为我是新人，我大多数时间都在看，学习如何照顾孩子，康复治疗究竟是怎样一会事。可是，太多时候，我会不知所措！比如跟老佛爷说话的时候，我不知道要找什么话题。敏感的东西要避忌，什么东西不敏感的我也不懂！那时候，就会觉得很尴尬！不过，还好，我是一个脸皮很厚的人，这点尴尬还是不会难到我的！这次，我把光明里面的向日葵种子带了回来，如果可以，希望爱，能象种子一样！可以发芽，茁壮成长！

〈∽僮畫－、

呵呵，加油咯！

小面条

编号：077159
名字：小面条
喂~ 我认领这篇文章啦~~  我来翻译~~~！

小面条

[这个贴子最后由小面条在 2007/07/22 00:36am 第 1 次编辑]

Maybe it was the god that indicated me to join in the Guangzhou Youth Volunteer Association. I didn’t know what had happened to me, but I really felt like changing myself. If it wasn’t the god that indicated me to do so, then it must be the bad fever that damaged my brain. In this month I  have received great happiness and enriched myself a lot. That sort of feeling, that sort of satisfaction, could not be given by any other things. From taking part in the Benefit Performance for little Wenju, to joining in the Guang Ming Base Camp (service for orphans), there were no moments that didn’t move me.
Here I want to apologize to my good friends for not having any spare time to play with them. Boy BBQ---- I don’t know when we are going to have one again. But I am doing happy things now. Please my good friends , please support me mentally. Actually I believe it was the god that indicated me to walk towards the brightness. The god keeps telling me that I should not go on living in that way. He prevented me from smoking and turned me into a vegetarian by means of illness. He used failure to show me that the dream of having a lover is so unreal. The nature of life is love. And love is not receiving but giving. Well~ If I keep going on, you may regard me as a missionary. I don’t mean to stay away from you, my friends! But I know I am getting away from you further and further because I am walking towards another world. Once I thought I was living in a world full of grey. Even myself was a person full of grey. In the grey world, a man’s heart can not only be free but also arrogant ! But I know I am walking on a path leading to a world full of pure white. I want to be a common person, that is my wish. I don’t expect all the people living in the grey world to step on this path. But if some day I do leave the grey world, my friends, please do not forget about me. And please do not give up yourself. The great path is still waiting for you as long as you don’t give yourself up and desire to change yourself. I am willing to bring the pure white into your grey world! I don’t know whether you understand what I am talking about or not. But I believe that the friends in the grey world will understand. A long time later, you will all understand.
What’s the love of a mother? It’s the bravery to give up and suffer everything for her loved children. Before going to the Guang Ming Basic Camp, I only took part in the Benefit Show for little Wenju. But on the day I came back from Guang Ming Camp, I was greatly moved by the love of little Wenju’s mother when I took part in the Benefit Show again. In this world, there are mothers abandoning their children, but there are also mothers willing to do anything for their children. Please think before you leap. As a woman, if you are not ready to suffer everything for your child, do not give birth to your baby. Even having no children is much better than being a mother who abandons her child. In the Guang Ming Camp, a small welfare, you can find around 80 orphans! Although they each has some shortcomings , they are still alive! So I admire littler Wenju’s mother for not having abandoned sick Wenju. Besides, she has done something that no other parents could ever have done. In China, especially in Guangdong, Anaemia is a very common hereditary disease. Not every mother could be so determined to rescue her sick child. Not every mother could be so strong-minded to fight the great disease with her child.
When I was in college, I once discussed with my classmates about giving birth to a baby. At that time, I was in deeply love with a guy. Even knowing that we couldn’t be together, I was still thinking about giving birth to a littler baby for him. Now when I recalled the memories, I found myself very stupid. It was so childish of me to think that giving birth to a baby is just a matter of ten months’ pregnancy. I had never thought about what this would bring me and bring the baby! When the love has gone, there will be nothing left for you and your child. There always exist some so called “innocent” people who look down upon the women once having induced abortion. But nothing do they know about! There is nothing more I want to say on this topic. One of my friends Yan once had an induced abortion. That was a twin! I felt really sorry for her. But now I know it is a correct decision. If I have no idea of getting married, if I am incapable of giving my child a good education, then I would rather suffer the pain of losing my unborn child than making a tragedy.
It was the first time I had been to Guang Ming Camp. Once again the god indicated me. When I was asked by the leader which group I was going to join in, I was thinking about joining in the “Littler Stage Group”. But my choice eventually turned out to be the “Fairyland Group”. One of my teammates talked to me later, saying that the first time he saw me, he knew I was just suitable to be in the “Fairyland Group”. And I did come! It must be destiny! Here each volunteer would be looking after one little child. The one I was responsible to was a heavy boy with a nickname of “Emperor”. Just like his nickname, he was a boy with a big temper. He was so heavy a boy that I could hardly lift him! The situation of “Emperor” was not so bad. His right leg was damaged so he couldn’t walk on his own. But at least he had a sweet heart. Unlike the other children, He enjoyed talking and laughing. My teammates all liked “Emperor” because of his easy-going temper. He would not cry easily. Nor would he keep himself away from others. With the tutor’s help, he would finish all the recovery exercise in earnest whereas the other children would focus on playing instead of doing exercise. But sometimes he would play tricks when he felt tired or painful. The tutor told me that “Emperor” once asked to have a pee, but after going to the washroom three times in roll, he still couldn’t pee out! Seeing his naughty face, you cannot help laughing! Since I was a freshman, most of the time I just kept watching, learning about how to take care of children. But sometimes I would still be puzzled! For example, when I talked to “Emperor”, I didn’t know what to say! In the conversation, we were supposed to avoid some sensitive topics. But I have no idea of what should be regarded as sensitive. This would make me feel embarrassed. Fortunately, I was a strong person. This little difficulty would not be the obstacle! I have brought back home some seeds of sunflower from the camp, hoping that love can blossom just like the growing seeds!
正在修改中~